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I Express Myself Well Through Writing

I Express Myself Well Through Writing

If you haven’t read anything, please visit my Published section on my blog and let me know what you thing. Also, you can read my other blog where I admit and work through the emotions of Caregiving.

LadyJai

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Determined To Live Positively

Determined To Live Positively

In case you don’t know, this is me.  This is how I want to live my life. I want to share the positive energy to everyone in my life.

I had an epiphany several years ago when my husband was deployed to Kosovo. (You can read it here) It changed my outlook on how I lived. It’s a daily struggle. Nothing in life worth doing is ever easy.

LadyJai

 

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I'm creative

I’m creative

In many ways, I’m creative. Not as good as I would like, but I enjoy quilting and writing. But the best thing I ever created was my son! <3

LadyJai

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I try to find the best in everyone

I try to find the best in everyone

There’s good in all of us. And looking at someone, we only see what they want us to see. We don’t know the circumstances that have made that person act the way they do. We cannot know their true self unless they open up. It is only when they refuse to open up and share their challenges, when they bite your hand repeatedly, that you have to back down. But there is always good in everyone. You just have to accept that they may have buried it deep a long time ago.

LadyJai

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I AM NOT ALONE And neither are you!

I AM NOT ALONE!
And neither are you!

It took me a very long time to realize this. I found it difficult to make, and keep, friends because of my situation, especially after TheHubs got out of the military. It took 15 years for me to find a group who “got it.” And now I know, I’m not alone. If you want to read how, please visit my other blog. I wrote about being/feeling Alone.

It doesn’t matter what you are going through. Everyone’s situation is unique. But, there are others out there who understand and deal with the same emotions you are going through. Don’t ever give up. Seek them out and you will find out, too, that you are not alone!

LadyJai

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March #WriteMotivation Final Update

Posted March 27, 2014 By LadyJai
Happy Spring

Happy Spring! My favorite time of year because it’s so full of color and the reminder that life has returned.

It’s not been a very good month here. The pain my husband is dealing with. He still has the migraine started off with on March 4th, the one we went to the ER for a little over a week ago. He has yet to have any relief. And things just get worse. He’s now having pains in his calves. He’s having tooth pains. The lack of sleep for both my husband and myself. Doctor’s appointments, labs, and tests to find out what’s wrong with me, which I doubt they ever will because I’m odd. I never have textbook symptoms, hence the reason for all the tests. 16 vials of blood, a brain MRI with focus on my Pituitary. The deep ache I have in my legs comes and goes, as does the random hypersensitive patches on my extremities. Who knows what’s wrong. I just hate spending all this money for nothing. That’s one of the main reasons I don’t go to the doctors. They never can find out what’s wrong.

The lack of sleep is getting to TheHubs. He’s only sleeping between 20-40 minutes at a time, never going into REM. That plays havoc on the brain, never resetting his neurotransmitters and replenishing whatever chemicals his brain needs. We’ve been wondering if certain things he’s been doing/seeing/hearing have been hallucinations. These have been pretty rough to get through, too.

Between the pain and the lack of sleep, he’s now told me he’s at the edge of his sanity. I’m at a loss of what to do. 

And with my lack of sleep, pain, and all the doctors, I’ve missed most of my goals. Writing has been placed on hold, yet again. 🙁

March’s Goals:

  1. Read through my WIP. This is the first step to get back into the head of my MC and the world he lives in. I hope. Last week I said I was almost done with the re-read. Well, it sits exactly where I left it last week.
  2. Write words on WIP. See #1 Can’t do this unless #1 is complete.
  3. Keep up with blog posts for both blogs – this one and my Caring for My Vet. Nearly done! scheduling my A to Z. Haven’t managed to do anything else, including writing one for my Caregiver blog either. I barely got this one up.
  4. Comment/cheer on my fellow #WriteMotivation peeps on Twitter, FB, Google+ and their blogs. Whatever they need, I will try to provide! I have been working through the A to Z Reveal list, very slowly. I haven’t been to anyone’s blogs this week yet. 🙁
  5. Write motivational post for #WriteMotivation – Nope, see #3
  6. Continue with my positive thinking – Doing very well, I think. I’m almost done with my A to Z challenge posts! YAY! Have you seen my theme reveal?
  7. Read another book. Completed Divergent. And I’ve started in on Insurgent when I can.

*Hugs and Cookies* Here’s hoping April is better! I will try to post my #WriteMotivation Updates on Sundays next month, because of all the A to Z posts. I don’t much care for double postings. 🙂

On a positive note, I had lunch with MJ yesterday and we had such a great time! <3 Afterwards, I got to meet her son and I was so blessed to receive a hug. I had a smile on my face the whole rest of the day.

MJ & Me

MJ & Me

LadyJai

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#AtoZChallenge Reveal

Posted March 21, 2014 By LadyJai

A to Z Challenge Theme Reveal

I decided to do the A to Z Blogging Challenge again this year.

As most of you know, I try to be positive and up beat no matter what life throws at me. But the latter part of last year found me sinking deeper and deeper into the dark abyss of negativity. I had to claw my way out. It wasn’t easy, by any means. But finding others who understood my situation, finally after 15 years, has really opened my eyes. If you’re interested in that story, I started another blog over at Caring For My Veteran, where I admit, explore, and work through the emotions of caregiving for my veteran.

So, sticking with last year’s Positive Post-It Notes theme, I will be doing another positive initiative. This one involves finding the positives within ME, writing them on a mirror and taking a picture. Reflecting the Personal Positives, is that a good theme title? What about Eliminating the Negative? If you have any suggestions for other titles, I’d love to hear them!

Can’t wait to see what you have up your sleeve for the A to Z Challenge! Good luck everyone!

LadyJai

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March #WriteMotivation Goals – Update #3

Posted March 20, 2014 By LadyJai

A springtime rainbow after the storm

Spring is here! Spring is here! While all my northern friends are probably sarcastically laughing, wanting to punch me in my face, we are recovering from a few days of rain and a weeks worth of grey. The sun is peeking through with promises of clear skies, warm weather, and flowers. I love spring. It is always a wonderful reminder that even though the world is wrapped in dormancy that is mistaken for death, that things look bleak and brown, that the colors of  life will always push through. 

March’s Goals:

  1. Read through my WIP. This is the first step to get back into the head of my MC and the world he lives in. I hope. Almost done with the re-read. I’ve been tweaking it as I read too. But, my job suddenly handed me to HUGE projects, both due within a day of each other. Plus things at the homefront haven’t been going so well. Sunday I finally got TheHubs to not be stubborn about going in for his migraine. His pain level has been at a 10 for 14 days and he hasn’t been sleeping more than 20 minutes. So, I took him to the ER. TheBoy had to go in to the doctor because he gashed up his knee. And I’ve been going to see a doctor due to the weird symptoms and achy legs and not being able to sleep. Loads of tests forthcoming. So, needless to say, I haven’t managed to get through this completely.
  2. Write words on WIP. See #1 Can’t do this unless #1 is complete.
  3. Keep up with blog posts for both blogs – this one and my Caring for My Vet. Keeping up scheduling my A to Z. I will be revealing my theme tomorrow so be sure to come back and see what it is. 🙂 Finished the Fear post for last week and also re-posted about nearly losing my husband twice. I think it’s very important to educate people and remind them that it’s not .
  4. Comment/cheer on my fellow #WriteMotivation peeps on Twitter, FB, Google+ and their blogs. Whatever they need, I will try and provide! :D I’m a little behind on this one as usual. I did manage to set aside a day to visit and comment on everyone’s blogs this week. I did good. 🙂
  5. Write motivational post for #WriteMotivation – I haven’t had the energy to think of what to write…any suggestions? I did get one up about how to get back in the habit. Have you read it yet? If not, go…and be motivated. 🙂 I wish I could have done what I listed. But, you know, life…
  6. Continue with my positive thinking – Doing very well, I think.
  7. Read another book. Completed Divergent. And I’ve started in on Insurgent when I can.

*Hugs and Cookies*

LadyJai

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March #WriteMotivation Goals – Update #2

Posted March 10, 2014 By LadyJai
Alone has been Published in The Veterans' Voice

Alone has been Published in The Veterans’ Voice

A month ago I was contacted by the publisher of The Veterans’ Voice asking for permission to publish my blog post regarding how I thought I was alone in caring for my husband — a disabled vet suffering chronic pain, daily migraines, PTSD, and more. I received the paper this past weekend and it is a real thrill to see my name in tangible print! I’m so happy. And if I can help just one person realize that they aren’t alone, I would be ecstatic! No one should ever have to feel that way.  Also, they’ve posted it up on their website! And as of today, 1000 people “LIKE” it! Whooo hoooo!!

March’s Goals:

  1. Read through my WIP. This is the first step to get back into the head of my MC and the world he lives in. I hope. I started re-reading what I’ve written. So I’m working towards this goal. I may need a kick in the pants, though. 🙂
  2. Write words on WIP. See #1 Can’t do this unless #1 is complete.
  3. Keep up with blog posts for both blogs – this one and my Caring for My Vet. I’ve scheduled some A to Z posts already. I’m working on a post for Caring for my Vet about Fear. And this is this week’s post for this one. 🙂 I think I’m doing ok so far, though my other blog is a little behind since I didn’t post anything last week.
  4. Comment/cheer on my fellow #WriteMotivation peeps on Twitter, FB, Google+ and their blogs. Whatever they need, I will try and provide! :D I’m a little behind on this one, too. I’m ok on Twitter, but getting to everyone’s blogs and commenting hasn’t happened yet. This weekend was quite busy buying all the lawn stuff. We need to put down the fertilizer and weed killer now before it starts staying warm. Spring seems to be here now.
  5. Write motivational post for #WriteMotivation – still thinking on what to write…any suggestions? I did get one up about how to get back in the habit. Have you read it yet? If not, go…and be motivated. 🙂
  6. Continue with my positive thinking – Doing very well, I think.
  7. Read another book. Completed Divergent

*Hugs and Cookies*

LadyJai

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This is the month I am determined to make writing on my WIP a habit again.

Determined I tell ya!

Maybe if I put the NinjaDino up as motivation???

Stealth Ninja Assassin T-Rex Dino

If you haven’t seen my post over on WriteMotivation.org go….read it now…and join me in making this happen! I need all the poking I can get. Maybe even some whipping action, you know…the stuff that goes on chocolate sundaes?? 😀

So here’s March’s Goals:

  1. Read through my WIP. This is the first step to get back into the head of my MC and the world he lives in. I hope.
  2. Write words on WIP. See #1
  3. Keep up with blog posts for both blogs – this one and my Caring for My Vet.
  4. Comment/cheer on my fellow #WriteMotivation peeps on Twitter, FB, Google+ and their blogs. Whatever they need, I will try and provide! 😀
  5. Write motivational post for #WriteMotivation
  6. Continue with my positive thinking
  7. Read another book. (Thank you, Andrew & the new trailer, I am now reading Divergent)

Here’s hoping I can make a habit of writing in my WIP I managed to push to the side over the last several months. You all know how to contact me, right?

*Hugs and Cookies*

LadyJai

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tomorrow is another chance

February Goals:

  1. Get back into my WIP. Writing wordsYeah, no. I’m going to attempt to read through what I’ve already written and start writing again in March. At least I have been writing a good deal of words over on my other blog! So that’s something.
  2. Continue to think positive and share my positivity with anyone and everyone. Doing it like a pro! Still working on my A to Z Challenge. I got all the letters done. Now to just take the pictures and schedule the posts. Maybe I will save that for next month. 🙂
  3. Continue exploring the emotions I feel while caregiving, trying to make sense and eliminate the negative. Post on my new blog as a way to heal. Still doing it.
  4. Read another book. Completed Clan by Realm Lovejoy. I even posted my review.
  5. Cheer on fellow #writemotivation people! <3 I think I’m doing ok with this, though I really miss the interaction we had last year. Everyone’s lives are so hectic and it causes problems. I miss you guys!!

<3 and cookies to you!

LadyJai

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Week 3 February #WriteMotivation Update

Posted February 21, 2014 By LadyJai

 

February Goals:

  1. Get back into my WIP. Writing words. Yeah, no. Though, I’ve been seeing signs that it’s time to go. There was a news article I read about Iran hacking the Navy’s largest unclassified network. Then someone posted an interview with a hacker on their blog. And then, I was watching one of my TV shows and it was about hacking. So yeah, SIGNS! all telling me to get back to it. I’m going to attempt to do so. Hopefully I can at least read through what I’ve already written by the end of the month so March will be the month of writing again. I’ve been focusing so much on my other blog. Emotional energy is high and takes a lot out of me. Plus, there’s this whole lack of time thing.
  2. Continue to think positive and share my positivity with anyone and everyone. Doing it like a pro!
  3. Continue exploring the emotions I feel while caregiving, trying to make sense and eliminate the negative. Post on my new blog as a way to heal. This week’s topic was GUILT. My article last week’s (ALONE) garnered some interest from a Veteran’s publication that wants to print and distribute it across the US. They have over 10,000 readers.  The publisher contacted me and asked my permission. Of course I said yes. She will be giving me proper credit and links to my blog as well as sending me a copy! YAY! :)
  4. Read another book. Began Clan by Realm Lovejoy, 65%. It’s slow going but maybe I can manage getting through it. It’s definitely not the fault of the author!
  5. Cheer on fellow #writemotivation people! <3 I think I’m doing ok with this. I feel like I’m invisible, though. That, or Facebook and Twitter are conspiring against me to keep me away from you lot! Miss you tons!

<3 and cookies to you!

LadyJai

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Frustration with my #WriteMotivation Goals

Posted February 14, 2014 By LadyJai

I finished up my binge on Downton Abbey and I’m all caught up with everyone else. I had to do this before I went on my trip so I could talk about it with my friend seeing as she’s the one who lent me all the seasons! 😛 (I so want to go back to England! My heart aches for it.)

The trip was very nice, despite the pain my husband had. It’s never-ending and he pushed through it. The trip was productive and quite laid back. We talked, we ate, and we talked some more. I cannot discuss what we talked about but let me say, it’s going to be exciting to say the least. I can’t wait to get this thing moving so I can share with you!

tomorrow is another chance

So, this week hasn’t gone as expected. I did manage quite the post over on my other blog as well as another cheer post for WriteMotivation.org; but still haven’t managed to get back into my creative side.

I’m not going to get frustrated. I’m not going to get frustrated. I’m not going to get frustrated. I’m not going to get frustrated. I’m not going to get frustrated.

February Goals:

  1. Get back into my WIP. Writing words. Yeah, no.
  2. Continue to think positive and share my positivity with anyone and everyone. Doing it like a pro!
  3. Continue exploring the emotions I feel while caregiving, trying to make sense and eliminate the negative. Post on my new bloghttp://caringforaveteran.wordpress.com ) as a way to heal. If someone else can benefit from it, then I’ll be ecstatic. :)  Again, yup!
  4. Read another book. Began Clan by Realm Lovejoy, 25%. It’s slow going but maybe I can manage getting through it. It’s definitely not the fault of the author!
  5. Cheer on fellow #writemotivation people! <3 I think I’m doing ok with this. Like I said, I miss Tweetdeck! and I miss a lot of people’s tweets nowadays. But I try!

<3 and cookies to you!

LadyJai

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Another Month, Another Set of #WriteMotivation Goals

Posted February 6, 2014 By LadyJai

Already this year is screaming by. I don’t know what it is about getting older. I remember how time used to drag on and on waiting for summer vacations, waiting for my next birthday, waiting for anything fun. A watched pot never boils was so very spot on then. Now, as an adult, there never seems to be enough time, for anything, especially anything I want to do. 

February Goals:

  1. Get back into my WIP. Writing words.
  2. Continue to think positive and share my positivity with anyone and everyone.
  3. Continue exploring the emotions I feel while caregiving, trying to make sense and eliminate the negative. Post on my new blog ( http://caringforaveteran.wordpress.com ) as a way to heal. If someone else can benefit from it, then I’ll be ecstatic. 🙂
  4. Read another book.
  5. Cheer on fellow #writemotivation people! <3

I’ve been sick this week so these goals are put on hold. Plus I’ve been marathoning my guilty pleasure of Downton Abbey. We are going down to spend some time with a friend in Tampa. Wish us luck as this is an overnight trip and those tend to be really hard on TheHubs. This is a two-fold trip: Visiting an old friend and just hanging out having a good time as well as exploring entrepreneurial possibilities (super-duper secret that I am so very excited about). But after that, it’s full on with my goals!

<3 and cookies to you!

LadyJai

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January #WriteMotivation Wrap Up

Posted January 31, 2014 By LadyJai

My Golden Rule On Writing First Drafts

All in all, I think I have accomplished a good portion of my goals. While it isn’t exactly as I hoped, it is still progress.

  1. Get back into the swing of things. while on vacation I stagnated, zero words.
    I’ve been struggling with this one. While I’ve been writing on my other blog, I’ve been fighting trying to get back into the fiction. I’m going to chalk this one up to “at least I tried and I can’t keep trying.” Eventually I will get there. The emotional healing process, my health, is far greater than stressing over my writing. It’s not supposed to cause more stress.
  2. Work on my positive thinking and trying to connect with other caregivers of veterans. Over the last 3 months I’ve spiraled out of control into a deep abyss and I am trying to claw my way back out.
    I continue with this and I think it’s going well. I believe this has to be done every day. It’s not something that comes easy, to anyone. It takes effort. And that which is hard is most rewarding. There will be setbacks (as Wednesday’s VA C&P meeting proved), but determination and persistence will win!
  3. Playing with a new idea for a blog but this may be private for a while and will be a different website. This should help with #2.
    So, as I said, I opened up my new blog idea to the public. If you haven’t seen it yet, stop on by and let me know what you think!
  4. Read another book. Completed Xenocide, the 3rd book in the Ender Series and began a new one.

On to next month!

LadyJai

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