After a year of many doctors, specialists, and tests, I’ve finally received my diagnosis. I have fibromyalgia. There’s one more specialist I have to go see, a hematologist, as some of my blood work is questionable. It’s a diagnosis. One I was pretty sure I had anyway. And it’s incurable. I just have to manage it and deal with it. At least I took care of myself this year, so I can continue caring for my Veteran. I still need to get my depression under control. I’ve opened up about it a few weeks ago on my other blog. It was hard, but I needed to do that. With the fibro diagnosis, my antidepressants changed a few months ago in hopes it would take care of the depression, anxiety, and the fibro symptoms. But since I’ve been on it, about two and a half months now, the fibro symptoms have subsided, but the panic and depression have worsened. So, today, I go back to discuss this with the doctor.
Taking care of me has been hard. I never had time to do it since I had to do everything else. That was my excuse. The other excuse was that I always had weird symptoms that they could never diagnose yet I would have to pay out an exorbitant amount of money for all the tests. Well, I did have all these tests, medical bills, prescription drugs, and labs are all outrageous. But I took care of me. When you are a caregiver, it’s hard to do this but so necessary. When you can no longer function in a normal capacity, keep your senses straight, or think coherently, how can you expect to take care of others? I found this out the hard way last year when I fell down a deep dark hole of my own. This year has been all about caring for me first, and then caring for everything else.
My fiction writing has faltered, again. But healing comes first, right?! So, my writing has been about me, on my other blog, writing to heal. I hope to be able to heal myself and I hope by my sharing it in public, someone else can benefit from it.
I’m sorry that my Celebrate The Small Things has taken a once a month turn, but that’s how it is with so much going on and very little energy. At least I am still doing them! I still try to keep my standard of Find the Positive, in every situation no matter how small. And most days it’s taken all my energy just to get through it.
For this month’s celebration, we’ve had some very brief, but wonderful experiences to share.
1)
October 26th, the Blue Angels had their Air Show here. It was TheBoy’s first time, and TheHubs’ first time being so close to the runway. It was amazing, despite me almost passing out due to heat exhaustion. It was 80 and they had run out of water. Joy. We found a couple of bottles after going from tent to tent. But when the jet noise started, I forgot everything and it felt like home again.
2)
October 27th, I had Jury Duty. I’ve been picked 4 times since I was 18. My first time, I had to report 3 days after we flew out to Germany. So I was excused. The second time, I had to report 1 day after we moved from Texas to Florida. Again, excused. The third time, the number written on my summons was not called the weekend prior so I didn’t have to show up. I guess the 4th time is the charm. The judicial system fascinates me, and I really don’t find it a huge inconvenience as most people do. I showed up and was not excused due to hardships or anything. I was sworn in and we waited around. Then they called many people and they were escorted to the court room where they were questioned to see if they would be picked for the trial. I really wanted my name to be one of them. I was one of 12 “left overs” just in case they dismissed too many from the selection. We waited all day and then let go saying we were not needed. When I got home, I found out what trial it was for. Two years ago, an officer was killed. The first time in 20 years in this county. This was the only trial going on and man I would have loved to have been on this jury! Oh well, it wasn’t time. At least I’m several steps closer to actually serving, right? I do hope when it is my turn, that it will be an interesting case.
3) November 8th, we participated in another Color Run. This was a Color In Motion 5k and we brought my mom and TheBoy’s BFF and family along with us. It was definitely fun. Unlike the Color Vibe, this powder didn’t come out very easily. It took about 3 showers and scrubbings to get it all off the scalp and everywhere else.

4) I’m going to add that pictures with TheHubs is also a wonderful thing to celebrate since he’s usually the one behind the camera when we have a family outing. Here’s one from yesterday morning when it was 23 degrees in Florida. This is February temperatures, not November temps. And how in the world is Alaska warmer than Florida??
This was a pretty busy month despite all the medical stuff. I’ll take the little family outings we have, even though we’ve never been on a true vacation. It’s the little things we always have to hold on to in order to get through the darkness that sets in from time to time. It’s why I do this blog hop, to remind myself there is good that comes out of it all.
Celebrate The Small Things is a weekly celebration where we celebrate the happenings of the week, however small or large the item in question. If you’re interested in learning more about Celebrate The Small Things, please visit their website, visit others participating, and sign up if you’re so inclined. It’s always great to see what everyone finds in their day to celebrate! And it adds to a positive outlook on life!
It is a blog hop, after all.
<3

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