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Shattered Dreams? Pieces of Hope And Inspiration

Have you ever had your dreams shatter into a million pieces? I’ve had that happen so many times. And last week was no different from any other time. I had several dreams feel like they shattered into a million tiny pieces, like a broken mirror that you can never repair again. I never set out to be so down. In fact, I really do not like it. But the longer I was awake last week, the longer I got to think. I was in a spiraling dark abyss by the end of the week and I couldn’t see any way out.

I did my darnedest to see, even just a glimmer, of light. But sometimes it’s so bleak and you can’t. That’s where I was last week. I guess we all have our ups and downs. I feel that I’m starting to have more downs than ups, and I really need to kick that bad habit! I like smiling. I like seeing others smile. I like being the cause of that smile too. But when you live with chronic pain, chronic migraines, depression, and everything that goes along it for so long, sometimes the light goes dark and you start to lose your way.
I was blessed by my good friend M. Andrew Patterson for one #ThursdaysChildren blog post. If you’ve not heard about this weekly blog hop, I’d like to direct your attention to Rhiann Wynn-Nolet, the brain child of the hop.
So for today’s post about what inspires me: I would have to say I’ve found inspiration through negativity. Imagine that. I’ve managed to write my way out of that deep, dark, abyss that I thought I couldn’t pull myself out of. Even though my novel is a little bit on hold, I think keeping up with writing…anything…has managed to allow me to vent. I resorted to the age-old, time-tested, emotional pour of poetry. I may not be any good, but I offer you this. The first part was written last week. I managed to pull from it, and give it a more positive ending…at least I hope I have. Let me know what you think.
Pieces

As the day swells on
waves of thunder and pain
roll through my heart
dragging me under
the riptide of darkness.
Dreams shatter
Millions of pieces
of hope
gone

Voices rage in my head
my heart
neither play nice
with the other
bicker and banter
yelling
screaming
tearing at the walls
punching and lashing
spitting

No longer can I see
those millions of pieces
lying at my feet
swallowed in the abyss
of blackened fear
loneliness
doubt

The murky waves
crash around my feet
beckoning me to join
its loving warmth
Its putrid promises
linger
tempt

Somewhere in the tunnel
where pitch meets black
a glimmer dances
on ebony tears
twirling closer
tugging
grasping

As the day dies
Bleak lies beside me
on the shimmering shore
we bathe in the obsidian glow
of shattered dreams
Millions of pieces
of hope
stir

LadyJai

 

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May 16, 2013 @ 04:00
writing
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10 Comments

  1. Ping from Pat Esden (@PatEsden):
    Friday, May 17th 2013 at 13:41 | 

    Your poem was beautiful not only its words, but I loved the form as well. Thank you for sharing it.

    Hugs and I hope you feel brighter soon.

    Reply
  2. Ping from Kristina Perez (@babelbabble):
    Friday, May 17th 2013 at 01:28 | 

    Thanks so much for joining us. Rhi and I founded Thursday’s Children back in September and we’re so excited by how it’s taken off. Your poem was very inspiring, Lady Jai, and I’m so glad you’ve been able to turn something painful into something beautiful! Kristina x

    Reply
  3. Ping from christineallenriley:
    Thursday, May 16th 2013 at 17:23 | 

    I think channeling the negativity of whatever we’re dealing with – depression, illness is probably one of the best paths through it. I’m glad you’re able to turn to poetry to help you through it.

    Reply
  4. Ping from Mia Celeste:
    Thursday, May 16th 2013 at 10:40 | 

    Wow, you know, they say that while success is fun, we learn the most through loss. In my opinion, your wonderful poem nails that. Thanks for sharing.

    http://www.miaceleste.com/?p=323

    Reply
  5. Ping from MAJK (@Safireblade):
    Thursday, May 16th 2013 at 09:55 | 

    Are you sure your weren’t meant to write poetry. Holy Crap that was a powerful piece and I read quite a bit of poetry so I’m not just being nice. I love how you took the negative and turned it on it’s head. Hang in there dear * HUG *

    Reply
  6. Ping from Leigh Caroline:
    Thursday, May 16th 2013 at 09:23 | 

    <3 *hugs, because words aren't enough sometimes*

    Reply
  7. Ping from M. Andrew Patterson (@M_A_Patterson):
    Thursday, May 16th 2013 at 08:23 | 

    Oh wow…that…wow…the images are so raw and amazing. Thank you for sharing. *hugs*

    Reply
  8. Ping from sugaropal:
    Thursday, May 16th 2013 at 08:16 | 

    Art, in any form, is hugely cathartic (I did a TC post about this sometime back). I’m so glad it helped you get through a tough week. I’m also happy you joined us this week! Sometimes I find myself in a big black hole and getting outside in Nature helps, as does realizing how little my life sucks compared to many other people in the world who live in dire poverty, oppression, whose children are terminally ill, etc. I lost a friend unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago, she was close to my age, our daughters are in the same 5th grade. Her death was a shock to everyone, and she probably knew only days before she died that her end was imminent. I’m wearing her favorite color as much as I can to remind myself how precious life is.

    Reply
  9. Ping from K.T. Hanna:
    Thursday, May 16th 2013 at 07:17 | 

    Oh sweetie, I love this. Raw, emotional and in the end hopeful. We’re always here for you. I hope writing this helped because it’s beautiful in its honesty.

    Reply
  10. Ping from Angela Brown:
    Thursday, May 16th 2013 at 06:31 | 

    Wow! That is a very powerful piece of poetry, so filled with raw emotion. A great way to channel that negative energy as well. Be bleak nevermore, though trials will come, for you have an artful way to divert from the charred path that drives to consume you. You are a writer. May your words give you release 🙂

    Reply

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