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Second Crusader Challenge

The Challenge:

Write a flash fiction story (in any format) in 100 words or less, excluding the title. Begin the story with the words, “The goldfish bowl teetered” These four words will be included in the word count. 

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional, and not part of the judging criteria), see if you can write the story in your own genre (eg if you’re a horror writer, write a horror story; a romance writer, a romance story, etc).  (want to read more? visit Rachael Harrie’s Blog)



My Entry:

The goldfish bowl teetered
          tumbled and toppled
Oh dear! Oh my!
  bumbled and boppled


What to do? What to do?
  flailing and flapping
grasp this! grasp that! 
          whirling and wobbling


I only made matters worse 
  smacking and smashing 
off the table top
  battered and bashing


The goldfish paniced inside
  splishing and splashing
This way and that! 
  darting and dashing

I watched it dance, spellbound 
  coiling and circling
Round and round it went 
  Whirling and waltzing


Hypnotizing 
          mesmerizing
                    fascinating
  captivating
                    Watching it 
  careen and plunge
Thwack!

21 Comments

  1. Comment by kelworthfiles:

    Thanks for joining in the challenge!I'm starting up a 'Critiquing Crusaders' program, where participants in the Second Crusade can find other writers to exchange critiques with or form critiquing circles. If you're interested, come by The Kelworth Files to check it out!

  2. Comment by LadyJai:

    So excited! Thank you! Thank you!

  3. Comment by Kerri Cuev:

    Lady Jai your entry will be moving on to the final round. Good luck! Gosh and ignore my spelling error in the previous post, yikes.

  4. Comment by pamparker:

    So cool! I was wondering how you knew it was shortlisted – just saw your tweet. 🙂

  5. Comment by Kerri Cuev:

    Hi Lady Jai! You're entry for the 2nd crusade challange has been shortlisted in the judging round. Great Job!

  6. Comment by Rachael Harrie:

    Very intriguing entry! Great job :)Hugs,Rach

  7. Comment by Deniz Bevan:

    Ooh, this is great! I love the sounds and rhythm.

  8. Comment by Alison Miller:

    Nicely done is right! Great job – loved this!

  9. Comment by LadyJai:

    Thank you all so much! It was funt to try and get the vivid words to play well together and try and do a poem. Glad you all liked it!

  10. Comment by J.L. Campbell:

    Not sure what happened to my comment just now, but anyway, I like your word choices. I got a vivid picture of what was going on in the bowl. The pattern of the words was smartly done.

  11. Comment by Jeanne:

    Great word choices. I think you and I are the only poetry entries. It was a great topic to write in poetry. Your sound words were awesome!

  12. Comment by Witless Exposition:

    Really good job. The first poem I've seen so far. Love the sound words. I bet this sounds wonderful read aloud!

  13. Comment by Trisha:

    Great entry! 🙂 Love your choice of words. 😀

  14. Comment by alberta ross:

    really good – lovely sounds and sights conjured – well done

  15. Comment by Happily Cheesy:

    Not only is this linguistically appealing, but visually as well.

  16. Comment by Julie Hedlund:

    I love this! Go you for turning it into a poem!

  17. Comment by Carol Riggs:

    How fun, all those lively verbs. 🙂 Neat to make it poetry.

  18. Comment by Sierra Gardner:

    Very impressive! I have a hard time with poetry so this is doubly amazing =)

  19. Comment by catherinemjohnson:

    Love it! Very pb style 🙂

  20. Comment by Carole Anne Carr:

    Great fun, well done!

  21. Comment by Cherie Reich:

    Very nicely done. 🙂 I love the sounds created in this piece.

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